Allen keys, AA batteries and Alcohol – Your Christmas Survival Guide

In our last post, we made your Christmas preparations easy with our Ultimate Gift Buying Guide.

But how will you cope on the day? Here is our slightly-tongue-in-cheek Christmas survival guide. 

 

Tip 1: Christmas can be a teaching opportunity

There is nothing like watching little Noah tear open his new remote-control car to realise… Santa forgot to buy AA batteries!

Turn this into a ‘Christmas lesson’. Remind little Noah that some children in the world don’t even have remote-control cars to put their batteries in, or that back in your day you had to use your arms to push said vehicle. He will stop whining immediately to appreciate your wisdom.

 

Tip 2: Delegate important tasks

As the sun sets on Christmas Eve, in garages across Australia will be the frustrated grunts of parents franticly assembling bicycles, cubby houses and trampolines. These parents are suckers. Make your kids assemble their own gift. Having to wait to ride their poorly built bike will only make them appreciate it more. Hint: put a wrapped allen key under the tree and pass it off as an extra gift!

 

Tip 3: Remember that Christmas is a time of giving

Everyone knows that giving gifts proves how valuable, liked and respected you are.

Therefore it is important that you are seen to be giving gifts. Be sure to make a big fuss about how much it cost you and how inconvenient it was for you to find.

 

Tip 4: Don’t let stress get in the way of good meal

Cooking the perfect Christmas lunch is an art form. If you are in charge don’t forget this is the most important part of the day, and if you make a mistake, you will be judged for eternity. Do not delegate or ask for help. Others will only ruin the perfect day you had planned.

Alternatively, if you aren’t cooking, feel free to observe the busy host and point out how they could do things better.

 

Tip 5: Make an effort to spend quality time with family

If you come from a big family, it is imperative that for lunch, you sit on the cool table. If your family does name tags, arrive early and sneakily swap. If you find yourself stuck with old uncle Roger, it is appropriate – if not expected – that you steal someone else’s seat when they go to the toilet/back for seconds/to help the host.

 

Tip 6: Try and enjoy yourself

Whether it is eating, drinking or swearing, forget moderation. Hello, it’s Christmas. Now is the time for excess and debauchery.

New Years is just around the corner. You can always make a resolution to be healthy/sober/a better person then.

 

Tip 7: Keep the fun going with festive attire

Wear your Christmas hat all day long. This helps to remind people why you are all stuck together. When you start acting weirdly or drunk, upon seeing your hat everyone will remember that its Christmas and find you hilarious instead of obnoxious.

 

Tip 8: Recharge your energy

Throughout the day make time to rest. If you can, fall asleep after lunch. This will not only restore you for more fun later, but if you time it right, you can avoid helping with the dishes.

 

Tip 9: Have some conversation starters up your sleeve

 

Nothing gets the conversation flowing like asking your nieces/nephews/younger cousins “How’s school?” Another snappy one-liner is to comment on their appearance such as: “gee, you’ve grown.” They will love that you are interested in the most interesting part about them.

Tip 10: Some fun activities can promote bonding

 

Christmas crackers are a competitive sport, and a chance to show off your skill. If you can, match yourself with a child or frail elderly relative. Once you have won all the whistles and mini-tweezers, feel free to share with the little ones (remember to make sure everyone sees you being so generous – refer to tip 3).

Tip 11: Share the love with others

 

If you must go to your partner’s family for Christmas, be sure to remind them how much more fun Christmas is with your family. Make them feel like you are doing them a favour, by merely attending. Remember, as a guest you are not expected to help or buy gifts.

Tip 12: Buying gifts doesn’t have to be hard

 

Okay, this one is a real tip... Get your Ovae orders in by 15th December to make the deadline for the regular post. If you are running late, we can express post until midnight on Tuesday 19th.

Merry Christmas, everyone! See you all in 2018.

Love Ovae's Resident Blogger

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